Hey whats up now? | southerngirl08's Blog

Hi everyone, I am here to say I am doing much better.  I have moved to North Western North Dakota, and December 31st 2009 at 11:55pm I and my husband  quit smoking and have not touched another one since.  I only used Prayer and bubble mint gum to do it.  God gave me what I needed to do it.  I am so happy to have asked him to help me, this time it worked, and now I know why it never worked all the other times I tried.  I wasn't ready to do it and I didnt ask the lord for help.  I smoked for over 28 yrs, thats how old my oldest child was last yr, and I smoked 3 packs a day as well.  I am so proud of the fact that I accomplished something.  I and my husband and my sister in law and her husband go to church on sundays, and i haven't missed one since we moved here.  That is something there to, I wasn't going back in Iowa, neither was my husband he worked seven days aweek so he didnt go either.  I have changed my life for the better and I am so happy that we have done what we are doing.  I miss my wonderful grand children so very much.  That is the only area of my life that hasn't changed, and it wont until there mother decides to stop hating me for what ever reason she uses to hate me, and do what she needs to do to make her life better but mostly my grand childrens life needs to be better.  My daughter has a mental illness, she has told people that I tortured her, and I have never done that, and God knows this, so thats all I need, I just wish I understood why she is like this, why she lies to people in such a way, is it because she wants attention? I am just not sure why she chooses to do this, she has to be sick, that is the only thing I can see that would make her do and say such crazy out of this world stuff.  I finally just told her I was done, that we are happy now, and she isnt going to hurt me any more, I wont allow it, and I said to leave me alone, and when she decides to get well, then she can contact me.  It really sucks that my grand children have to suffer because of there mother.  And that we have to go with out seeing them, she uses them like they are her property, I told her she doesnt own them, they are people and they will grow up and they will leave and go out on there own, and she cant stop them, I miss them so much, and I hope they know how much me and grandpa loves them.  She tells them horrible things about us, like we dont love them, and we don't want to see them, she lies to them so much.  I hope that God will let them know the truth.  Ok, thats all for tonight, I am so tired, and I have a doc appt tomorrow.  so good nite to you all.  Pam